


A dead boy's poem

by fruityrat05



Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types
Genre: Alice Cullen - Freeform, Character Death, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Jasper Hale - Freeform, Jasper Hale/Alice Cullen - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-18 01:54:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29360616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fruityrat05/pseuds/fruityrat05
Summary: “You said I was in love. You were right. But that never happened, either.”― Craig Clevenger, Dermaphoria
Relationships: Alice Cullen/Jasper Hale
Kudos: 5





	A dead boy's poem

Mary Alice Brandon had always been known for being peculiar, ever since she was a child playing in the rain while others preferred to stay shielded from it, up to the day when she lost her life long love and seemed to vanish into her own world.

While Alice had the whole town wondering about her, Jasper Hale was seen as the perfect example of a gentleman, always keeping a smile on his face and his posture being as straight as a ruler.

Jasper had always been very fond of Alice, ever since they were ten years old and sharing classrooms- they quickly became friends, and in their teen years, they became more. 

When they got married it was like they were the perfect couple, nothing ever faltering the smiles on their faces when they locked eyes with each other- but the couple knew better.

The Hales knew that soon their time would be cut short, that Alice would be left alone in their home, trying her best to keep her life going.

Jasper had been living with a disease that proved more fatal each day. He had kept it a secret throughout his childhood- only revealing it to Alice once they started dating.

“I understand if you can’t do this, and I also understand if you want to leave, or if you’re mad at me.. but I didn’t think it was right for us to live with the aching pain as we grew up. I just felt it was right to tell you now, so you have a chance to decide if you want to stay.” 

Alice’s smile had faded, but her eyes still showed the kindness in her heart, “Jasper, I love you, and I will never stop loving you until I leave this earth. I don’t care that our time might be limited or that we can’t raise a family of our own,” she walked gracefully towards him, cupping his face in her hands smiling up at him, “all that matters is that we make the most of it.” All he could do was smile as he placed his hands on hers and pecked her on the lips. “God, I love you, Mary Alice Brandon.” 

As life seemed to dance around them, Jasper only got worse. He could no longer dance with her in the kitchen as they cooked breakfast in the morning sun, he could no longer read to her poems from her favorite books as they sat on the porch swing, and he could no longer say ‘I love you’ without running breathless.

As he visited the hospital more and more, all they could do is wait, wait till the pain of not knowing how much they had left to end. And once that day arrived, everything fell silent.

Alice sat by his bedside, holding his hand as the doctor looked over the monitor that beeped slower and slower by the second. The staff at the hospital had tried to reassure her of what was happening for the last few months of his life, her always whisking them away and staying by his side- it was almost as she didn’t believe he was at death’s door- she still read to him each night and still talked to him about the latest gossip, convinced he could hear her. 

The second the rhythmic pattern of the heart became one simple line on the monitor, the world fell silent for Mary Alice Brandon. She didn’t know what to do, she felt as if everything had been taken from her and replaced by this gray, dull world instead. Her smile never fully met her eyes as her once graceful walk became the sad roaming of a widow. 

After months of her crying herself to sleep and going through his things just to inhale his scent, she found a letter in an old case of his. 

“Dear Alice,

I know our time is cutting short, I can feel my heart racing faster and my limbs growing weaker. I wish I could extend our time together and dance with you once more, but I know I can’t.

If you find this letter, it means our time is up. I want you to know that I love you dearly and that you should never give up hope, as I am always here to guide you whenever you need. 

I wish we could have taken more strolls along the park.. I miss seeing your dress flow freely in the air as I twirl you around. 

I hope this letter finds you in good health, and as always, I love you more.

-Jasper”

She guided her finger along the page as she read it, a few sobs escaping from her throat as she thought of the memories.

She knew Jasper would hate to see her like this, with her clothes dirty and her hair messy, but her mind was empty and she didn’t know what to do- so she reread it, over and over. ‘you should never give up hope, as I am always here to guide you whenever you need.’ So that is what she did. 

The people in the town began to see the true Alice that had faded along with her Husband months ago, as her smile reappeared on her lips and she skipped along the pathways of the streets, sitting in the grass ever so often with a book to read or a sketchbook as she sketched her surroundings. 

For Alice it was different, her mind had erased all memories of the trouble in her past as one day she woke up to Jasper next to her, although he wasn’t fully there. 

Her life went on as nothing happened, her mind and soul erasing all existing evidence of his passing. She kept dancing with him in the morning and embracing him now and then, but it never fully felt like him. His familiar scent had vanished and his embraces were cold, not warm like she had grown custom to.

She knew no others could see him, but to her that was normal, as she told him to hide when people looked towards her. 

Her health slowly became worse, as she talked to people that weren’t there when she went to the shops or saying sentences that didn’t make sense. She felt tired most of the time, allowing herself to cuddle up with Jasper whenever she felt, waking up with him gone, and then reappearing later on in the day. She knew it wasn’t real, as people still grieved for her husband and wished her nothing but wellness as she walked by. 

She became willing to do anything to spend more time with Jasper, realizing the more rush she placed on herself the more he appeared, as he had said, he would be there when she needed. 

Soon she was wandering towards rivers till dawn, and letting her legs hang past the ledge of various heights. People got worried, knowing all they could do was wait till she gave out- as she told them to leave if they got too close.

Every day her need for adrenaline got worse, as she sobbed herself to sleep each night begging him to come back. She found her memories of their love fading away when she tried her best to hold them close. 

His things still laid in the same place as they had been left the day her life changed forever, only some having been moved to the bed as she cradled close to them inhaling the familiar scent that filled her mind each night, sending her into a frenzy of grief and another deep need for the sweet rush she cherished so close.

“Maybe you need me, as I need you, oh my darling- I should have realized it sooner,” she said one day clutching the note she had once again placed in her hand and read. 

Mary Alice Brandon had a plan, after many months- if not years of feeling lost and empty- she finally knew what to do. She sprinted to the kitchen grabbing a piece of paper and a pen and she started writing, 

“Dear Jasper, 

I should have known sooner, but I finally know what I need to do. 

Don’t worry my darling, soon I’ll be back in your arms and we don’t need to worry. 

-Alice”

Her hand was shaking slightly as she wrote, the excitement coursing through her veins causing the sweet relief of rush to appear. She didn’t spare any time when she rushed out of the house in her white silk dress and a black long coat, trying her best not to stumble in her heels. 

She knew this would solve it all, she wouldn’t feel the need to hide her emotions anymore, she wouldn’t need to feel forced to be dragged into the endless cycle of lies and pain. It would all go away and be replaced by the knowing thoughts of meeting her love again.

As she stood on the ledge of the cliff overlooking the sea, she replayed all the memories in her mind, from her mother telling her she shouldn’t waste her time on boys, to the memory of her first dance with Jasper after marriage and till their last. She knew this was right- and it felt like it.

And before she knew it, she let her body fall. The wind in her hair made her smile, as her stomach dropped causing the feeling of rush to intensify. 

Soon the ache of loss in her chest was replaced by the burning sensation of water crushing her- the burning almost gave her a sense of trust- like she could trust the ocean to make sure to return her to her Husband. She watched as the view of the surface was replaced by the dark sight of nothing- her ears filling with water creating an eery silence that comforted her. 

She allowed herself to inhale deeply, feeling the water fill her lungs that had once helped her stay alive. "Soon we will meet again, my love" She thought to herself as her body felt like it went up in flames, soon stopping and being replaced by nothing.

She felt nothing, the feeling of hurt was gone- along with the burn of the freezing water. She tried to open her eyes realizing soon that there would be no point.

She smiled to herself when she felt the warm embrace she had lost a long time ago. Her body felt light as she opened her eyes, seeing herself in the hold of her lover once more, “I missed you darlin’” his velvet voice filled her mind when she looked up into his eyes.

It would be okay.

The five stages of grief.

denial; It isn't real, none of it is.

anger; What have I done? it's all my fault.

bargaining; All I need is the feeling of rush to see you again.

depression; I'm sorry, I thought it would get better.

acceptance; This is what I have to do.


End file.
